Fighting to be a FORGIVER!!

Wow...it really has been a long time since I've blogged...sorry about that...gosh, it's been SO crazy around here...but here we go...time to write a new blog...

Just recently I received an email that I had already received a year and a half ago...the email had a story with a petition attached...the petition was fake...but the story was true...it was a story about a 3 year old boy, Jamie, who was taken from a shopping centre in England by 2 10 year old boys, John and Robert...the boys took Jamie to a train track...along the way they tortured and beat him...they rubbed paint in his eyes...shoved batteries up his anus...that sounds terrible, but that's the harsh reality of what happened...after beating him and torturing him some more, the boys then left Jamie laying on the train tracks to die. Jamie's little tiny body was so badly beaten that his mother wasn't allowed to identify his body.

After several years in prison John and Robert were going to be let out and it was rumoured that they were going to live in Australia...they would be given complete anonymity so that they could start new lives and no one would ever know who they were. The purpose of the petition was to add you name and send it to as many people as you could so that the boys would be sent back to jail, and they wouldn't get a second chance. Well, I'm sure you can't believe that I didn't add my name to that list...and nor did I send it to anyone else...and I'm sure you can't believe I'm about to tell you that these boys deserve forgiveness.

I'm not a parent, so I have no idea how it would feel from a parents perspective to read that email and to feel your body fill with rage and disgust...I am an aunty though, and I do know that as an aunty that story makes me shudder and I feel afraid for my girls knowing that people have been so badly misguided in their lives...but I also know that the Lord has called us to forgive!

In 2 Corinthians 2:5-11(MSG) Paul tells us that we should forgive...infact he says in verses 6-8,

"...What the majority of you agreed to as punishment is punishment enough. Now is the time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it. My counsel now is to pour on the love."

What John and Robert did was not ok!! I want you to know that in writing this I am not saying that it was ok that they did what they did...what I am saying is that these boys have suffered enough...and whether you agree or not doesnt really matter...the point is this...regardless of the circumstances, or of personal opinion...Christ has CALLED us to FORGIVE! It's not our right to say how we think another sinner should be punished...can you imagine if our sins were judged by another sinner?? NO THANKS!!

So, how do you forgive someone who has done something to you that is so terrible that it's scarred you for the rest of your life? My own family has been through that exact experience.

As a child my mum grew up in an alcoholic family. Her dad was an alcoholic and her mum came and went as she pleased. She had a brother and 3 sisters. They all experienced some really awful things...and as an adult now my mum carries those scars. As children my brother, my sister and I had to deal with all of that and what mum was going through and we had to grow up really quickly.

For a really long time I carried around a lot of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness towards my grandfather and grandmother…who are both dead now anyway…I used to think "Why would someone do that to my mother?" "How could someone do that to someone…and not just any person…but their own child!! WHY? HOW? There was no way I was going to forgive the man who robbed my mother of her childhood. There was no way I was going to forgive the woman who didn’t allow my mother to have a mother of her own that loved her and cared for her and protected her. No way!! I would have started a petition of my own to see them thrown into jail for the rest of their lives before I forgave them!

Over the years I’ve struggled with that so much. How did I deal with it? I held onto it. I threw God away. I let that unforgiveness boil up inside me and I didn’t let it out! I let it eat away at me until I started to mess up my own life and I started to do things that I really didn’t want to do, but I was angry and bitter…and I didn’t care. That’s what my life had become. Just a big cess pool of bitterness and unforgiveness and I was swimming in it…in fact it was getting deeper and I was starting to drown in it.

One day God broke all of that. I learnt to forgive my grandparents. Then I had to ask God to forgive me for holding such a grudge and then I had to learn to forgive myself. I had held onto it for long enough and releasing it, although it still hurts, made me feel like I could breathe again. My family will always carry around those scars. But a scar is only a mark to remind you of what’s already been healed. An open wound needs to be healed…if you don’t allow it to heal properly it will get infected and it will start to fester and it will cause all kinds of problems and you could end up losing a whole limb. You need to let it heal...ask God to help it heal...and it will become a scar...so it will always be there...you'll always remember that once it was an open wound...but you'll also see the evidence that what was once a hurt in your life has now been healed!!

In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians he clearly says ‘Ok…so you dealt with all the pain…I understand that…it wasn’t inflicted on me. I don’t pretend to understand all your pain and suffering. But what I DO understand is this…Christ has CALLED you…has ASKED you…has PLEADED with you…to forgive one another and live in harmony as the body of Christ should!’ Paul wasn’t Jesus. He wasn’t God. But he was given authority by God to speak the truth out and to remind his people of what they should do in Christ’s name. One of those things…forgive others.

Do you realise that in the Word of God it says that if you don’t forgive others you can’t be forgiven? Mark 11:25 in the Amplified Version says this:

"And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your own failings and shortcomings and let them drop."

If you want God to forgive you, you need to forgive others. How can you expect God to forgive you when you hold a grudge against someone else? You need to show the same grace to others that God has given to you through His Son Jesus Christ on the cross! No matter what you’re forgiving…whether it was because someone stabbed you in the back…said something hurtful…stole something…whatever it is. And you know what…some people will have no remorse for what they’ve done. They won’t want your forgiveness. But that doesn’t give you an excuse to harbour your unforgiveness. In your own heart, forgive that person. They might not care or even want to know. That’s ok. But you’re not gonna walk around for the rest of your life never having released that part of your life. You’re not going to spend the rest of your life drowning in bitterness and anger. You're gonna learn to forgive others...to be a FORGIVER!!

It's not easy...and I'm not gonna say it is...cause it's damn hard!! We're not God...but we have everything in us because of Jesus' sacrifice to try...because we KNOW that it's not by OUR strength that we can do it...but it's by HIS strength...by HIS might...by HIS power and HIS blood spilt on the cross...that we can stand as witnesses to His grace...and if we can't love and forgive eachother then we can't receive forgiveness ourselves...that's what humility is all about! GIVING...not just TAKING!!

BE A FORGIVER!! No matter how hard it might seem...